Trials And Transformation

“Blessed are those who trust in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord.

They shall be like a tree planted by water, sending out its roots by the stream.

It shall not fear when heat comes, and its leaves stay green;

in the year of drought it is not anxious, and it does not cease to bear fruit” (Jeremiah 17:7).

During my youth I had this interesting notion that some people go through life relatively carefree and untouched by tragedy or adversity. As I grew older and I experienced more of life I found this notion to be inaccurate. Whether we want to acknowledge it or not, all of us in our humanity will experience times of pain, loss, disappointment and yes, even times of darkness. Sometimes these conditions are a part of our own personal journeys, and at other times they become a part of our lives by association. No matter the case, the question becomes: How can we move through these challenging times so that something positive and life-giving may be gained?

As life happened around me and to me, I began observing the many different ways   individuals close to me responded as they were confronted with struggles and suffering.  Some responded with resentment, others resilience and yet others resignation. Early on in my life I knew that I wanted to find out what led to resiliency. I have to say that my great-Aunt Mary taught me much of what I needed to know. My aunt was no stranger to suffering. Her oldest son Tommy died of cancer at 21. She cared in her home for her mom and dad till their death. Not too long after that, my Uncle Joe was diagnosed with cancer, and he succumbed to the disease within a few years.  Shortly after her husband’s passing, Aunt Mary lost her second son suddenly due to a medical condition he was unaware of. This was so much sadness for one individual to endure. I stood in amazement of my aunt and her approach to all that had happened.

I spent a great deal of time at my aunt’s house growing up and well into my young adulthood. Her daughter Suzie and I were best friends as far back as I could remember and my mom and Aunt Mary were best friends since they both could talk. So I first-hand witness as my aunt was always present to the reality of what was happening; as she talked of what she was learning about herself, others and God as she moved through it all and lastly, seemed to grow into an even more compassionate, kinder, gentler, giving  and empathetic person than before.

The memory of my aunt was prompted by a series of events that have happened over the last few weeks and have been impactful in significant ways. In a short span of time, seven people we know have died, and five individuals have received diagnoses that will bring suffering to their lives and the lives of those who love them. My husband and I were overwhelmed by the magnitude of pain that is enveloping so many people we know, and by way of being in their lives, we have felt their pain in our own lives. I personally found myself trying to distance myself from it all so as not to revisit what was part of my own journey not so very long ago. Fortunately, I knew from lessons learned that this response would not serve me well. I came to the realization that I needed to allow myself to be “in it” – all of it!

My decision was affirmed by the words of Robert Wicks in his book “Riding the Dragon 10 lessons for inner strength in challenging times.” Wicks writes that “if we can learn to ride our dragons rather than hide from them it can be transforming.”  I chose to be present; this has never been an easy choice for me, but more often than not it has brought with it unimaginable outcomes – pones that have led me to needed growth, deeper understanding, insights that may not have come in any other way and greater faith.

 I think there is great wisdom in this approach of “dragon riding” – wisdom that was shared by my aunt decades ago and witnessed by all of those who accompanied her on that journey. She took to heart  the words found in the book of Jeremiah: “For I know what my plans for you are, plans to save you and not to harm you, plans to give you a future and give you HOPE.” These words gave her life with the ability to see the blessings in the good times as well as in the bad and believe in the fulfillment of the promises made.