Seeking Solitude And Renewal
On Sunday, my mom would have turned 95. That’s a lot of years.
She died in October and, thankfully, my worst memories are starting to fade away.
As I write this, I’m hopeful that the harsh winter has finally left us. Patches of snow remain on the grass, but this morning the birds are chirping, the squirrels are roaming around everywhere, and — although I can’t see them — I believe the huge trees in my neighborhood all have tiny buds.
God is renewing the earth. And I think He’s renewing me too.
In the weeks after my mother died, I experienced a deep longing for solitude, a desire to be alone. I’ve always feared loneliness, but this was different. I guess, for the first time in my life, I understood the need to go to the desert and pray.
The website for Psychology Today defines solitude as a “state of being alone without being lonely,” as something that can lead to self-awareness.
Loneliness, on the other hand, “is marked by a sense of isolation.”
The website notes that the two words are often used interchangeably, although there is a “world of difference between solitude and loneliness.”
Loneliness is a negative state, where you feel that something is missing. It is possible to be with people and still feel lonely.
Solitude is a “positive and constructive state of engagement with oneself. Solitude is desirable, a state of being alone where you provide yourself wonderful and sufficient company.”
Jesus led the way for us by showing us how to use solitude in difficult times. Matthew’s Gospel tells us that when Jesus learned of the beheading of His dear cousin, John the Baptist, He “withdrew in a boat to a deserted place by Himself.”
That’s such a visual: Jesus rowing away from the apostles, them watching from the bank unable to offer comfort.
Perhaps that’s what we need to do in difficult times. Withdraw from the crowd, and find a quiet place. Perhaps our minds and hearts and souls can heal better if we are alone for a little while.
Solitude and winter seem to go hand in hand. Here in southern Indiana, winter is a time when things are quiet and darkness comes early.
We don’t know how long Jesus was alone, but we do know that the people found Him, and that His heart was moved with pity for them. Soon He was healing the sick among them, and instructing His disciples to feed everyone.
When do we need to follow His example, by leaving the quiet places and returning to our normal lives?
Spring seems like a wonderful time to do just that. And for me to celebrate a special birthday.
