The Longest Night
Sometimes, despite the tinsel and the carols, despite the fragrant wreaths and the twinkling lights, it’s hard to be festive in December.
As Catholics we all know the story of the Nativity. We know about Joseph and Mary making the arduous trip to Bethlehem, and the arrival of our King of Kings, who was born in a stable. We know about the shepherds and the Magi and the angels.
We know the story in our heads, but sometimes our hearts are too heavy to rejoice at the news of the Christ Child’s birth.
Our hearts are heavy because we are grieving, and grief sometimes covers everything in its path.
Helping those who are in that sorrowful place is the idea behind the Longest Night service, which will be held at 6 p.m. on Saturday, Dec. 20, in the Guest House Chapel at St. Meinrad Archabbey.
During the service, each participant will light a votive candle in memory of who or what they have lost. They will be encouraged to take the candle home with them, and continue to pray that God will fill them with His grace.
After the service, the participants will be invited to a reception. That’s the time when they can sit together and share their stories.
Benedictine Father Adrian Burke, who will lead the service, says it’s for people who are grieving a loss. He has found that grief can be accompanied by an isolating pain, but often when grieving people are together they realize they are “not alone.”
Christmas is an especially hard time for those who are grieving. Our culture tells them they must be happy during the holiday season. That dictate to be happy can result in feelings of isolation.
“They see the festive house decorations and the mall,” Father Adrian said, “and their grief causes them to feel very isolated. The culture says, ‘You must be happy or something is wrong with you.’ That makes the feelings of sadness even greater.”
Far away from the bright lights and chatter in the malls will be the quiet and comfort offered during the Longest Night service. It’s held during the longest period of darkness in the year, but in that darkness comes a message of hope.
“From this point on, the light will grow,” Father Adrian said. “We have to trust in God’s grace. We have to trust, ‘I will come out of this.’”
It’s important for those who are grieving to acknowledge that their special relationships have moved in a direction that they cannot follow — right now. “We need to learn to celebrate the transformed nature of those relationships,” he said.
People die, but relationships do not die. Despite death, they remain intact – intact but transformed.
Father Adrian believes that grief can be a sign of great hope because it can serve to remind us of what Jesus did with the cross. The cross was not merely an instrument of death; it is the means by which we enter into eternal life.
Father Adrian hopes that the Longest Night participants will begin to move from a place of sorrow, loss and pain and start to embrace a message of hope and light.
For those who attend, and for those who cannot, he says never, never try to “go it alone” when it comes to grieving. “Share your experience with someone you trust,” he suggested. “Pray, and open your heart up to grace.”
