The Family, Wounded Hearts And Healing

In an April 2015 homily following the proclamation of the extraordinary Jubilee of Mercy, Pope Francis summarized, “Here, then, is the reason for the Jubilee:  because this is the time for mercy.  It is the favorable time to heal wounds, a time not to be weary of meeting all those who are waiting to see and to touch with their hands the signs of the closeness of God, a time to offer everyone, everyone, the way of forgiveness and reconciliation.”

As the Holy Year begins, we are encouraged to ask how we may help “heal wounds” and be “signs of the closeness of God” in the contexts in which we dwell.  As family life is the most immediate context for many, a reflection on the family, wounds, and healing is timely. 

In this respect, I draw encouragement and would like to share four points from a poignant keynote reflection on “the family as a home for the wounded heart,” which Manila Archbishop Luis Antonio Cardinal Tagle delivered at this past September’s World Meeting of Families in Philadelphia.  A link to the full video of Cardinal Tagle’s WMOF reflection can be found at www.worldmeeting2015.org.

            First, every person has wounds.  An individual’s wounds—be they from financial constraints, failed relationships, infidelity or abuse, for example—are not private, but social; wounds alter family life and impact relationships.  Wounds make people and families vulnerable to manipulation, bitterness, despair, and even sin; wounded people may experience internal division, external conflict, alienation, and a sense of homelessness—or the lack of a loving presence—particularly if a family member inflicts the wound. 

            Second, Jesus is the chief physician whose ministry of healing proclaims the Kingdom of God.  Cardinal Tagle observes that “The Good News of the reign of God is manifested in healing as caring, assisting people, accompanying them, reconstituting relationships, bringing back a girl to life and restoring her to her family.”  Notice that after Christ’s compassion and care in the Gospels, the healed person usually manifests faith in Jesus.

Third, Jesus does not save us from our vulnerability and woundedness; rather He saves us in our wounds.  He entered our woundedness by becoming like us except for sin—He was, for example, “hunted down by an ambitious politician;” experienced being a refugee; and was ridiculed, betrayed, crucified, and buried in a borrowed tomb.  Christ embraced a wounded world and was wounded, but therein heals and saves us.  That the resurrected Christ maintains the marks of His wounds indicates the transformative power to turn wounds into “the triumph of love.” 

            Finally, our wounds can make us agents of God’s healing in our families and the broader Church insofar as the wounded person is “courageous in taking the path toward healing [and] conversion.”  The mystery, Cardinal Tagle explains, is that even when homes are hurt by wounds, it is also the home—which is the “gift of a loving presence”—that “is the privileged place for comforting and healing wounded hearts.”  In order to become avenues of compassion and solidarity, Cardinal Tagle recommends humbly turning to Jesus, the chief physician; acknowledging our own wounds; being ready to enter the dark world of others with “bloody and raw” wounds; responding in emergency cases with creative solutions; being hopeful; and discerning when to simply provide a loving presence rather than voicing solutions.

“Where God rules,” the Cardinal remarks, “wounds are attended to.”  During this Advent season and Holy Year of Mercy, may we take time to discern and transform our own wounds, patiently accompany family members along the path of healing, and make the reign of God apparent in our homes.