On Marriage, The Millennials And A Blue Robin's Egg
A blue robin’s egg resting in an iridescent seashell, that’s how God reminded me this morning of His blessings in my life. I recognized this for what it was: A sign of the tenderness of my wife’s heart. The robin’s egg was found this weekend while doing yard work. Alma let out a sad, slight sigh as she rushed over to find the turquoise egg in the rocks beneath one of our shrubs. The idea that this little egg would never hatch cracked the delicate shell of her heart, and she took it away. As a man, I thought she had probably discarded it. Instead, she rested it in one of the shells she had spent hours collecting along the South Carolina shore a few weeks ago. A shiny collection of them now rests on the beach-colored head board in our guest bedroom, awaiting Alma’s inspiration on just the right way to display them. When I saw the egg in its shell there, my heart melted.
Alma has changed my life for the better in so many ways, and I’m happy to say that when I write about her I frequently receive emails from husbands who feel the same way about their brides. They write of moving experiences that have led them to see God’s blessing through a great spouse. I am grateful when I see that others also experience God’s grace through a holy wife.
Recently, an article declared that the “marriage apocalypse” was right around the corner; Millennials (born 1982 – 2004) are voicing reluctance for marriage. I am less inclined to believe in a coming marriage crisis. It’s not that I discount that Millennials really believe they won’t get married; rather, I know their views will radically change if they have good examples around them.
Most researchers point to the reality that major institutions have caused scandals during the lives of the Millennial Generation. From the Tylenol murders to Iran-Contra, Exxon Valdez, Enron, the Clinton impeachment, Church sex abuse scandal, the September 11 attack, the housing collapse and the BP Deepwater Horizon spill, institutions have lied to or taken advantage of Millennials. Sadly, this includes their families: The divorce rates among Baby Boomers and Generation Xers are substantially higher than any of their predecessors, so why would anyone want to commit to another person “until death do us part?” Because of robin eggs in seashells.
I know, that sounds trite, and if it didn’t go any deeper than that, it would be; however, my wife’s inherent goodness, the way she moves me to grow in every way, makes me want to be a better man. I see God calling me through her, and that gives a whole new meaning to the idea of “vocation.” God didn’t merely call me to be a husband, He called me to be Alma’s husband, and even more significantly, He continues to call me every day through my wife. God’s call on my life most frequently comes in Alma’s loving voice, even when it needs to be stern. This is what you as parents need to share with Millennials today: Share your love story. Not merely the stories of how you met, but how you have come to know that God called you to be the spouse of this particular person. What are some significant ways you continue to hear God’s vocation through your spouse? How has being the spouse of this particular person made you a better, more faithful person today?
Marriage isn’t about buying homes, being constantly happy, or experiencing daily romance. Such notions are why many leave good marriages. Instead, marriage is about hearing and seeing God through the person with whom we commit ourselves to God, and God always honors these vows. Let’s share our stories with our youth during their formative years. Let’s share real love stories, and let’s be honest enough to tell why the experiences of our dating lives led us to the person God called us to marry. No story is perfect, but they are holy, and Millennials need to hear them. Start wherever feels the most natural to you. Today, my love story begins with a robin’s egg in a seashell.
