So I Don't Like Lent

I don’t like Lent.  I just don’t like adding more difficultly to an already tough existence.  So this year, part of my Lenten sacrifice is to let Lent be my sacrifice.  No, I don’t mean that I want to give up Lent for Lent; rather, I think I’d like to simply let Lent serve as a reminder that every good thing will bring struggle, and it is important to find meaning in these difficulties.  Perhaps an example would help.

I’ve decided to try to get to daily Mass more frequently during Lent.  Naturally, I’d like to keep this going after Lent; however, as a beginning step, I’ve decided to make it to Mass on Tuesday and Thursday mornings.  Now, I must admit:  I hate mornings.  Should God ever ask for my opinion, I would humbly suggest that the workday begin around noon … after a late breakfast and few cups of coffee.  Given my disdain of morning, getting to a Mass that begins before work is already a behemoth sacrifice, so I have to be careful not to be snippy with my wife as I climb from our warm bed while it is still dark and quiet outside.  Obstacle number one.

Next, early morning traffic.  I’m not exactly sure what happens to the human brain while we sleep, but apparently the parts of our cerebrum and cerebellum that affect the ability to drive are impaired for hours after waking because people simply drive horribly early in the morning.  My drive should take 20 minutes; however, early in the morning, the commute inexplicably turns into a 30-minute grudge match with other motorists.  After being cut-off (and doing my own cutting off), I typically arrive for Mass having wished others many flat tires and breakdowns.  Obstacle number two.

This morning I arrived at the Catholic Center to discover that one of our high schools was having a retreat, and the parking lot was full.  I had to drive around the building, park in an area typically reserved for guests, and walk back to the chapel for Mass.  Although I love working with youth, I must confess, I wasn’t very loving in my thoughts of them this morning.  Obstacle number three.

So, I’m going out on a limb, and I’m guessing there’s a clock in the sacristy of the chapel.  I will further guess that clock is fast because I checked the time on my phone as I neared the chapel, and I had one minute to get into my pew.  No, I wouldn’t have much time to quiet myself from obstacles 1-3 or reflect upon the poor way I dealt with them, but at least I could take a breath and ask for God’s help.  As I rounded the doorway, Mass had already begun…early.  At that moment, I cursed Einstein for being correct on the relativity of time, and I knew my morning was proof of his theory.  Obstacle number four.

Next, I believe singing at Mass is a way I praise God, so I try to do it well.  In Lent, we don’t sing the “A” word, so “Glory and Praise” was sung in an intonation I’ve never heard before.  I thought I had it down, so I began to sing, only to find myself singing solo at one point!  Evidently, I had the intonation wrong, and I had the wonderful privilege of looking a bit like “Mr. Bean Goes to Mass.”  Obstacle number five.

Okay, what’s my point?  Every good thing we do will bring its own struggles and trials; we don’t need to add more of them.  Attempting to go to Mass more frequently is a good thing, something I should do all year long, and beginning that practice will find me facing a whole series of challenges.  Today, I must confess, my thoughts were not very peaceful or holy, but it is still better that I was at Mass than staying in bed.  The good thing I did brought its own challenges, and the steps I take to deal with those (and the way I respond to them) are what God will use to make me holier.

I still don’t like Lent, but I believe it is good for me.  And knowing that life is hard, that good steps will bring challenges of their own, helps me to better engage this penitential season.  In the end, I continue to hear Jesus say, “Tomorrow will have troubles of its own.”  I know that’s true; and for me, Lent is about trying to grow closer to God in those troubles rather than adding needless troubles of my own.