Give Your Needs To God
On my annual Jesuit retreat this past December (something I would encourage everyone in the diocese to try), I had a very profound personal experience. On the first night, the retreat director encouraged us to reflect on what we wanted Jesus to do for us during our weekend. Easy, I thought, I have a litany of things I need.
Back in my room, I began to recite my litany of requests and became frustrated in the middle. I stopped and felt agitation begin to grow within me. I became angry at the fact that these were all things that I have prayed for many times before. Some of the petitions have been in my little file cabinet of needs for years. Why should I go through the litany again? Why did I need to go through the same process when God should already know my innermost thoughts? I felt that old familiar weight begin to descend on me. My shoulders and neck began to tighten with the weight of those things I hold deep within the recesses of being.
Then the thought came to me that it was not the needs I needed to give to Jesus but the faith and trust that once given to Him, He would take them and hold them dearly to himself.
“Give your needs to Me. Put them in this wooden bowl. They will be safe. I promise.”
I heard this several times, each time thinking that there should be more. Each time I heard it, the emotion welled up inside of me all the greater. I began to pour out needs that had not been neatly stocked in the file cabinet – needs that I had not known were there.
“Give your needs to Me. Put them in this wooden bowl. They will be safe. I promise.”
Finally, almost exhaused from this exercise, I relented and submitted to the greater will. It was then that I realized that I did not want to give them up. I wanted to hold onto them so that I could recite my litany, as I had done every day for past months. I wanted to hold them because if I did not, then I had no control over their outcome.
This was a startling conclusion in that I realized that my faith in Christ’s love for me was lacking. I had slipped into the trap that I must be in control of my life and even the lives of those around me. I realized that I did not trust God to know what is best for me … a startling revelation indeed. I imagined Jesus was smiling at me with the face of One who realizes He has finally gotten through a thick skull.
Slowly, I began to place all of my burdens, wants and needs into that wooden bowl. I placed each and every one in it carefully; and when I was finished, the weight was lifted from me.
For the entire weekend, I did not worry about my needs and worries, for I knew that they were being well-attended. I did not weigh myself down, as I am sometimes known to do, with my fears and anxieties about an uncertain future. I prayed and lived that weekend as I had in long years past.
I share what was a very intimate moment with myself and my Lord with each of you, my brothers and sisters, so that you too might remember or know more fully that you can fill your own bowls with those petitions you hold most dear and Christ will take them unto Himself and hold them tightly. He only requests that we have faith in His unwavering love for us. He calls out, waiting for us to respond.
“Give your needs to Me. Put them in this wooden bowl. They will be safe. I promise.”
