'Shrinking The Monster' Helps Others, Author Heal From Child Abuse

In the 1950’s, Norbert Krapf was sexually abused—along with scores of other boys—by a priest of the Diocese of Evansville who was loved and respected by the community. After five decades of silence, Krapf—a retired professor, author and award-winning former Indiana Poet Laureate—confronted the monster of his past both by outing the then-deceased priest to the bishop and, in 2014, publishing a book of poems called “Catholic Boy Blues”to help himself and other victims heal.

Krapf visited the Catholic Center in October 2014 for a presentation to diocesan and parish staff members, priests and religious that included selected readings from “Catholic Boy Blues.”

In August 2016, In Extenso Press published Krapf’s latest book, “Shrinking the Monster: Healing the Wounds of Our Abuse.” The author calls the book a “prose memoir about the experience of writing those poems, with an emphasis on the process of my recovery from the abuse.” That experience, as outlined in the book, was a journey of pain, struggles, victories and healing.

Before reviewing the book, I’d like to address an important question: Why? Why write on such a dark, painful topic that many would, as Krapf admits, rather not read about?

The answer is two-fold. First, as he reiterates at several points, the book is intended to help other victims of child abuse heal, and to further his own healing. But that doesn’t mean the book is only for victims.

Rather, it serves the additional purposes of raising awareness and prevention of the lifelong pain and damage caused by child abuse – wounds that Krapf reveals can be managed but never fully heal; wounds that can be reopened at any time.

The book has a “‘round the kitchen table” feel, like that of a friend sharing his heart with the reader over coffee in cozy quarters. That feel comes from the levels of honesty and openness with which Krapf writes.

In the spirit of revealing the depth of the pain and the balm of healing from sexual abuse, he takes the reader through his eight-year journey from the point of knowing his story must be told, through the pain of facing “the monster” of his past after 50 years of silence, to the struggles and healing process of writing and publishing “Catholic Boy Blues”—which is helpful but not necessary to have read in order to follow the journey of “Shrinking the Monster.”

For readers who are victims of child abuse, look for advice throughout the book on how to shrink your own monster. Krapf shares words from his counselor that proved life-changing for him, such as, “If you remain angry at your abuser, it means he still controls you”; “If you keep the monster silent inside of you, it could grow bigger and bigger until it starts to eat you alive,” and “Every time survivors tell anyone we trust something about our abuse, we heal just a little.”

He also shares what he has learned about forgiveness—a step that takes a long time for victims of child abuse, he admits.

“In wondering if someone had abused [my priest abuser], in considering whether he had been victimized and wondering if he therefore victimized me and many others as a consequence,” says Krapf, “I was making an effort to see him not simply as a moral monster, but as a human being who had serious problems and perhaps suffered from an uncontrollable illness.”

Shrinking the Monster

By Norbert Krapf

• Publisher: In Extenso Press (August 15, 2016)

• Language: English

• ISBN-10: 0879469846

• ISBN-13: 978-0879469849

Natalie Hoefer is a reporter for The Criterion of the Archdiocese of Indianapolis.