Evening Routines: Ending The Day Right

As 2017 begins, we as parents have the opportunity to re-set the stage for success for our kids and families. Routines provide a strong collective backdrop for everyone and a powerful stress-reduction tool as life activities can accumulate. Evening routines in particular can provide a buffer and a place to rest, relax and regain momentum for other needed areas of life. Take stock of how your family currently arrives at evening routines. Is everyone tired and grumpy? What steps can be taken to make this a more successful time of togetherness?

Make evening hours an important paradigm shift from “work mode” to “family mode.” This can be done on the commute from one to the other. One father commented that he would mentally throw all of his work stress on a specific building on the drive home. When returning to work he could easily “pick it up” again. Mindshifts require intentionality but are worth the effort.

Parental leadership sets the tone for evenings. In a peaceable home, homework, bath time and bedtime flow smoothly rather than with great distress. But it’s not quite as simple as it seems as stress of the day lingers and family members vent irritations on each other.

Ideas to make evenings more successful include:

• Eat dinner together as frequently as possible. Take turns preparing meals, and keep them simple. Prepare ahead on weekends when possible.

• Incorporate exercise before or after dinner. Head to the gym, walk the dog, use Wi-Fit, take a bike ride. Any of these will help reduce stress and take the edge off tensions.

• Decide on a bedtime and then work backwards with the routine. Allow at least an hour to “get ready” for bedtime.

• Consider bathroom logistics in the plan. Plan turns for baths, etc. If you have a teen who needs a lot of time in the bathroom, allow plenty of time for sharing space.

• Incorporate any items that are time-consuming or stressful from the morning routine into the evening schedule. Make lunches, pack bags and school bags, select clothes, review homework etc., on the night before. Nothing is more frustrating than having to do a load of laundry or iron clothes or search for the right items needed for that morning. Remember that 10 minutes in the evening can be much more leisurely than 10 minutes in the morning.

• Leave enough space/time for electronic free time. Studies have shown that the best sleep occurs as the brain is not firing. Electronic media – cell phones, video games, etc. – will keep the brain firing and can interfere with the deep sleep needed for brain recharging. One to two hours before bed, go unplugged for best results.

• Include evening rituals that helps promote good sleep hygiene. Coloring, reading, deep breathing, yoga and quiet music are great choices to slow down the brain and get ready for sleep. Adjust lighting to encourage rest. This is a great time for prayer or quiet time, hugs and soothing touch.

Developing strong family bonds and caring routines are highlighted in the Strengthening Families program for parents and kids. For more information see www.youthfirstinc.org and click on programs. Strengthening Families programs are free to participants and are being offered this spring. Take a look at our program schedules and sign up. You will be glad you did!

Stein-Kiley is Youth First Vice-President of Social Work and Programs