Celebrate The Bride And Groom: Sing At The Wedding
For some reason, when Catholics gather to celebrate a wedding, they do not seem to know what to do. Their verbal responses to the prayers are barely audible, and they rarely join in singing the principal parts of the mass (if the wedding is between two Catholics) such as the “Holy, Holy, Holy.” I don’t know if the people in attendance are Catholics who no longer attend Church on a regular basis, or if they feel like they are only spectators at this “private” event between the bride and groom.
So often, we have the opinion that a wedding ceremony is more of a family ceremony since we are invited by the bride and groom and their parents to participate in the biggest event of their lives. While it is indeed a family ceremony, this does not make it a “private” affair. We know that because a couple’s vows are always professed in the presence of the Church’s minister and God’s people invited to gather. A wedding is a public ceremony. It is a public ceremony so that 1) family, friends, and the church community can celebrate with and support a newly married couple; and, 2) ideally, the witnesses can hold the couple to their commitment because their vows were not said in private but were publicly proclaimed.
In their 2007 document, “Sing to the Lord: Music in Divine Worship,” our American bishops state that they want the newlyweds’ “wedding day to be filled with joy and grace” (par. 217).
Thus, while not listing particular songs that may or may not be sung at a wedding ceremony, the bishops provide guidelines to be followed when choosing music appropriate for the ceremony. Our bishops do not have these guidelines to make a couple’s ceremony more difficult to plan, or to put unreasonable restrictions on them, but to help them to choose music that will make their ceremony a meaningful experience of God’s presence to be remembered for a lifetime.
Why do we worship? What is the purpose of Catholic liturgy, including a wedding ceremony? The reasons we worship and the reason we gather to celebrate liturgy (which includes a wedding ceremony) is to give glory and praise to God, and to make those who are worshipping holy. Music chosen for a wedding should help the assembly to pray, and to give thanks to God for the vocation of your love, to which God is calling you to enter into as a sacred union. Therefore, a bride and groom must ask themselves “Is this particular piece of music prayerful and does it give proper praise to God?” In other words, does the music strengthen their faith, express the faith God had planted in their hearts and called them to celebrate here? (Sing to the Lord, par. 130).
A second question a bride and groom must ask when choosing music for their ceremony is, “Will it encourage the assembly to join in the singing as well?” We fail to remember that all the guests you have invited to come to your wedding are not spectators. They do not make up an audience that passively watches events take place way up in front at the altar. They are the Church gathered together to celebrate with you. And one of the most concrete ways they can express their love and support for the bride and groom on their wedding day is by joining in the singing. Therefore, it is important to pick songs that the people know.
How do you encourage your guests to join in the singing? Wedding programs are often printed, but rarely is the music printed in them – only the names of the songs. Of course, if the songs are printed, copyright permission must be secured, which any parish music minister can assist in procuring. And if cantors would conduct a rehearsal of the proper parts of the Mass (“Holy, Holy, Holy,” “Memorial Acclamation”, etc.), this would send a clear message that the congregation is being invited to fully participate in the wedding ceremony. No one is a spectator.
The final question that the bride and groom must ask themselves regarding their music is “Is it beautiful?” That’s an interesting question, isn’t it? Such a question only makes sense when we believe that “God is pure beauty,” and that whatever is beautiful becomes a window into the divine as the Catholic Catechism teaches (CCC 32).
Fr. Sauer writes about the sacraments. This is his latest in a series on the Sacrament of Marriage.
