When You Pray, Pray; Don't Negotiate
Many of us approach prayer as a trade-off, forgetting that it’s a gift and forgetting to be grateful beyond the point of general recognition. “Thanks, God! Now, if you’ll please give me this, I’ll be sure to try harder at that.” We appeal to the idea of an exchange because in our human interactions, we promote fairness. Sometimes, we translate this mentality into our prayer lives by essentially negotiating with God; and if we get what we want, we spend less time being grateful and more time trying to pay off the “debt.” We’ve forgotten that in no way has prayer ever been a negotiation.
As in Romans 8:26, “we do not know how to pray as we ought.” The Catechism explains in paragraphs 2559-2561 that prayer is a “gift…paradoxically our prayer of petition is a response to the plea of the living God.” When we get stuck trying to repay God for all the prayers he’s answered, we’ve already lost sight of its purpose. Prayer is supposed to help us form a relationship with God; and when we share our worries and concerns, we’re contributing to that purpose. He’s always listening, and there is no price tag for each request because he wants us to include him in our daily lives.
When I eagerly help my friends and family with projects or cleaning, I want them to be thankful – not only for my contribution but also for my companionship. I don’t want them to promise they’ll never make me do it again if I enjoyed helping them. I help them because I love them, I want them to be happy, and I want to spend time with them. God aids us for the same reasons. Instead of making empty promises in recompense, we should try to instead thank him and spend a little more time talking to him. While there is no trade of goods or services, every relationship is a two-way street of communication and appreciation.
Contrary to our misconceptions, prayer is not executed on a pay-for-play basis. There are no favors exchanged for praise or adoration. Prayer is intended to help us talk to God and involve him in our lives. As we rush through this holiday season, with some of us stressing about finals and others about tight budgets or time constraints, we need not add to our lists, “pay God back for that A .” We can continue communicating with God and asking for his assistance, but rather than keeping score, we should simply appreciate him more.
