Expectations Add Useless Weight To Life
Expectations in life can cause much unexpected and unnecessary misery. I’ve started to notice this in so many areas of my life. It affects my interpersonal relationships, my mental health, and especially my overall outlook in life. Expectations are a useless weight that drains the enjoyment and beauty of life and our much-needed peace with Christ and our brothers and sisters.
I find myself distressed over the made up intentions and assumptions I perceive others should have. I feel anxious and upset about others not reaching out to me, not going the extra mile for me as I do for them, or wishing that they would give me a little more time and understanding. Simmering in these feelings has a subconscious but direct impact on my interactions with my friends, family, coworkers, classmates, mentors and everyone else in my life. Instead of getting stressed out by these fabricated expectations I hold over others, I can transform that negativity into gratitude. Rather than focus on where others are lacking, I should remind myself to recognize all the good things they have done for me and the wonderful things I can do for them.
Expectations can negatively influence the way we interiorly view ourselves. In our world today, we feel many exterior pressures to be the best we can be. We feel like we have to have the best world experiences, the best education, the best reputation. We look at ourselves and feel like we need to measure above and beyond to be valuable in every way. We look at friends and strangers in real life and on social media and spend much of our time wishing that we could be as rich or good looking or glamorous or interesting. We might be incredible in one field of our lives, but we still might put ourselves down for not being good enough in another area. We get frustrated by not working hard enough, not studying more, not doing something more productive with our lives. These expectations we hold for ourselves can crush our motivation and hold us back from living and loving the life we’ve been so graciously given.
When we feel so weighed down by friends letting us down or feeling like we aren’t good enough, it affects the way we look at the world. It creates a negative perspective on how we perceive ourselves and others. It damages our ability to lead healthy, holy lives because we get preoccupied and sucked into our own interior feelings of disappointment and frustration. We can find ourselves spending time and energy on useless anxiety and worry about things that cannot be changed. Sometimes the situation can be completely transformed by altering our perception of it.
If you ever find yourself feeling discouraged by expectations like I have, sometimes all it takes is taking a step back and focusing on the ever-present goodness that surrounds us. We are meant to be the body of Christ and be our support for one another to live beautiful, virtuous lives, but this cannot be brought to fulfillment when we feel interiorly discouraged and frustrated by our relationships. Instead of worrying about what others can do for us, we need to change that mentality to focus on the goodness we can be for them. Break the habit of this way of thinking by celebrating your blessings. Reflect on the compassion you’ve experienced and how amazing you truly are. Instead of simmering in the disappointment that results from unfulfilled expectations, we need to make the deliberate choice to cherish the kindness of others and the value of who we are as daughters and sons of Christ.
