Listen

For my psychology internship, I will be answering a hotline for those facing any sort of crisis or contemplating suicide. I haven’t taken my first true call yet, but I have undergone 40 hours of training to help me learn how to be the best I can be when I speak with these distressed callers. These 40 hours have truly opened my eyes to the hopelessness some people face – and how I can be there for them.

            I want to share with you the three most important things I’ve learned through my training. They may seem obvious, but they’re the most important ways we can truly be the light of Christ to those who need someone to believe in them.

Listen with an open mind. In our society today, we have a communication problem. Stephen Covey described this issue by saying, “We do not listen to understand. We listen to reply.” Sometimes we can be so focused on ourselves that we don’t truly listen to the person next to us pouring their heart out in hopes that someone will understand them. Give them the true unique gift of your time and your patience. A trick I learned to help with my listening skills is to ask open ended to questions to help the other person open up and tell you more about what’s going on in their lives.

Love them with an open heart. So many times we can judge someone for their words or actions instead of simply listening and trying to see their life through their unique perspective. We can let our own prejudice or assumptions get in the way of loving them as brothers and sisters in Christ. Saint Mother Teresa pointed out, “If we judge people, you have no time to love them.” Others don’t benefit from our judgment; what they truly need is love and support in order to overcome their trials.

Make sure they know you’re there for them. Unfortunately, the people I will be talking to those whom I will never meet and/or never develop a personal relationship with. But there are so many people you and I have in our lives who are facing the exact same suicidal thoughts and personal crises. Sometimes we can’t tell what they’re going through from the outside looking in. If you notice someone going through a tough time, or if they open up to you, be there for them with a kind, listening heart. We don’t always need to share our advice or what we think they should do. Most of the time all they need is someone there for them to show them that they’re not alone. Your presence alone can speak louder than anything you could ever say.

            We all have times in our lives when we feel overwhelmed. We all have friends, family, classmates and coworkers who are facing times of pain; they need someone to listen. I encourage you to seek out those who are struggling and make it an everyday challenge to find someone who needs encouragement.

            One of the most important things I have learned is that I can still help others who are different than I. I may be young, but I can still show support for those who are two or three times my age. I haven’t experienced true grief in my life, but I can still share their suffering and sorrow. I may be unfamiliar with divorce, some mental illnesses, homelessness, trauma from war and many other different situations, but I can still be a light in their darkness and show them that they’re not alone in their pain.

And you can, too. It’s not easy; sometimes, it’s difficult, messy and uncomfortable. Push past all that. This is what we’re called to do – to reach out to the struggling and hurting, and help them find healing. Matthew 25:40 reminds us that Jesus is saying to us, “Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me.”