Family Bonds: Why They Matter
When I ask students what they are looking forward to most over the summer, almost all of them – including pre-teens and teens – bring up a family activity. Family bonding, spending quality time with your children, has so many benefits for the family, including those for brain development.
Family bonding activities, where family members are giving their full attention to each other, can be anything you can dream up. They can be free or low cost. They can be spontaneous and involve little to no planning. Family meals are a great time, as are the times while the meal is being prepared and cleaned up when parents and children can talk about things that are interesting to them. Board games, playing cards, taking a walk or bike ride around the neighborhood are great for family bonding. Spend positive time working together on hobbies or showing interest in activities that your child enjoys. Shopping with the family, doing yard work or other routine activities can become fun events with a small amount of creativity and a lot of loving attention. Parish events are fabulous family bonding and faith building opportunities. Cultural activities, going to a museum, going on picnics, hiking, camping, attending concerts or shows, and traveling are ways to spend quality time with your family.
When families spend quality time together, parents have opportunities to model their faith in action, to find small moments to teach life lessons, and to model positive social behavior. Fun times and family traditions are memories that last a lifetime.
Family bonding enhances the brain through increasing the release of Oxytocin. Oxytocin is a chemical messenger released in the brain, mainly in response to social contact. Oxytocin is also known as the anti-stress hormone and the love hormone. When activated through loving social interactions, it creates feelings of attachment, improves interactions and creates strong bonds. It is what calms us back down after a rush of adrenaline. Children develop the oxytocin response in the first few months of life. Research shows that the quality of care a child receives in the first three years of life through being nursed, cooed over and cuddled stimulates growth and development of oxytocin receptors in the brain. How much nurturing, love and intimacy a child gets in the first 3 years of life can be a predictor of how a child will react to stress and intimacy. However, the brain is flexible and can learn to increase the oxytocin response at any stage of life, which is especially good news for children who may not have received adequate nurturing, love and intimacy in the early stages of their lives.
Kisses, hugs and handshakes also increase oxytocin. Oxytocin has been shown to help people feel more optimistic and increase self-esteem. It can help build trust and reduce social fears. Oxytocin is also shown to foster generosity.
This summer, as you enjoy time with your family at socials, on a family vacation, or as you sit down for dinner, remember the lasting benefits your full focus gives to your family.
Steele is Youth First counselor at Evansville’s Resurrection School.
