Over Extended Children

We’ve all had those moments, sitting at the dining room table, looking at our calendar and trying to figure out how we’re going to map everyone’s schedules for the week.  Practices, tutoring, homework; and then trying to figure out when and where we’re going to get all of our children fed because no one is ever home at the same time.  For parents, the reality of trying to figure out our children’s schedules is daunting and stressful.  If we know how we feel trying to figure out how to fit all of these activities into a day, how do our children react?

American children are over-extended.  Gone are the days of coming home and playing with friends outside for hours before having dinner with our family, finishing homework and being sent to bed. Now, they spend eight hours at school, followed by hours of practice several nights a week, club activities, and all with higher academic expectations. 

All of this stress can be consuming to a brain that has not fully developed.  So what does this mean for our children?

All children, like all adults, handle stress differently.  There is no magic number of extracurricular activities that will provide your child with the most enriched life. The best thing to do is be observant and empathetic to your child’s emotional needs.  Does your child seem stressed? Are they asking you if they can skip practices? Do you have to drag them out the door? If the answers to any these questions are yes, chances are your child is over extended.

So, what can you do to help them manage their time and feel less stressed?  Allow them to pick the activities that mean the most to them.  As parents, we often get stuck with the feeling that we need to expose our children to as many things as possible. What is really important though, is that our children enjoy the things they’re doing. When a child is playing and having fun, they are learning. 

It is also important that your family has time together.  When every person is so involved in different activities, it often makes it difficult to spend quality time with your children.  We need to be just as concerned about our children having time at home with their families as we are with the activities they are in. 

The moral of the story is, you’re not setting your child up for failure if you don’t have them in an excessive amount of extracurricular activities.  Allow your child to tell you what is most important to them.  Having fun and spending time with family is what is most essential.

Christine Weinzapfel Hayden is Youth First counselor at St. Philip and Corpus Christi Schools.